I've been thinking to myself a lot the last few weeks, wondering who I am and what my priorities are. I have been feeling a more pressing desire to get more involved in church, somethig that working 12 hours on Sundays does not allow. If church is becoming a higher priority to me, why don't I quit my job? We've done the math, and technically we could probably get by without my income... but am I prepared for that? Can I make the sacrifices that would involve? Am I willing to be on a tight, no frills budget and occassianally live off of Top Raman Noodles? Ick. Staying at home sounds nice some days, but I love some of the perks work provides, even at just 12 days a month: adult conversation, mental stimulation and something interesting to talk about when I am around people. Plus, being on a super snug budget, I dont think I would get out of the house much, causing severe mental insanity. I like to get out of the house and I like to be able to play some. Does that make me a little selfish? Maybe.
I guess there are other options. I could change shifts. But any other shift would mean day care for McKenzie. Cris and I chose to bring her into the world, and, we feel we should be the ones raising her. Who knows what care she would get out there, even with the most trusted of sitters. Or, I could change jobs. That makes me cry a little. I really, truly like my job. And I make really good money for what I do. I've browsed the want ads, and the really good part time jobs pay half of what I am making now per hour. If I took one of those, would I feel like my time was being used well? Would I get a schedule that worked for us? Argh. I hate this.
Of course, we are still trying to get that job sharing program going. My office loves the idea and my GM whole heartedly supports the idea. Unfortunately its a change that would require corporate input. It's passed regional officers approval, its just been stuck in corporate HR. And its making me nervous... and I guess causing me to think about all of this mess. If it goes through my immediate stress will be releived. Going to church every third week isnt ideal, but, its a start and MUCH better than being inactive for 3 years. Anyway, I will continue to pray and think about work. Thank you for letting me vent a little, I already feel better! In the mean time, if you run across any part time desk jobs in Tooele County that pay $20 an hour with a gold plated schedule, forward them on to me! LOL!
Since I wont be around much to post anything new this weekend, I thought I would do a double dose today! I thought it would be fun to share easy recipes with each other, since I know most of us could use some more! So, here's mine. Post one on your blog if you want to, or email it to me and I can upload it for you. Todays recipe: Mexican Casserole
I've always admired Leann's blog and find lots of ideas and inspiration from her. One of the things that she did was list 100 things about herself. Since I read that post months ago, I have been wanting to try it. It was a lot more difficult than I thought, and it took me two days to get it done. So, it may be a little rough, but here it is:
Today I opened the mail and found a letter from our mortgage company. At the top of it read "Payoff Demand Notice". It went on to list our current balance, and left instructions on where we need to wire our payoff amount by the 15th of March. It said checks were not acceptable, only the full amount would be accepted, and listed a case number. I started panic. I was sweating, tears were pooling in my eyes, my heart was racing and I couldnt slow my brain down long enough to have a complete thought. I kept thinking "But we haven't had a single late payment! How could they do this to us? Were we stupid enough to actually sign a loan that somewhere in fine print was written that they could collect the balance at any time?"
I kept trying to call Cris, and finally reached him on his way home from work. I explained what came in the mail, and he said, "Stacy. (sigh) Remember, we are refinancing for a lower interested rate?" I squeaked out a slight "yeah..." He went on, "The new loan company contacted them to find our payoff amount. It's not a demand for payoff, its a notice of how they need to be paid off if we refinance." I couldn't say much, so I mumbled something incoherrent and hung up. I've never felt so silly or so relieved.
So, Countrywide Mortgage, I appollogize for the horrible things I said about you today, but in fairness, can you clarify some of the wording on the important looking documents you mail out?
My lifespan was reduced today by 3 1/2 years, I am pretty sure.
I didnt get much sleep last night, and I am really feeling it today. My eyes dont want to stay open and I find myself constantly resisting the urge to crawl back under the blankets and bury my head. McKenzie has been fighting sleeping the last week or so. I dont know what caused it, but it would be sure nice to get it fixed.
McKenzie has always been an easy sleeper. She started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old, has always taken naps easily and got a good 10 hours of sleep at night without a problem. About two weeks ago, she learned to open doors, and since then, wont stay in her room. Maybe its the draw of her new-found freedom calling to her? But, that almost doesn't seem right either. Before she could open doors, she rarely made a peep at night time. Now, when we put her back in her bed, she cries for the light to be left on. What suddenly causes a fear of the dark - especially for a child who thought a nightlight provided too much light to fall asleep to? So, I am writing to ask all of my mommy friends out there for their advise. Any ideas?
