Venting my Inner Thoughts

I've been thinking to myself a lot the last few weeks, wondering who I am and what my priorities are. I have been feeling a more pressing desire to get more involved in church, somethig that working 12 hours on Sundays does not allow. If church is becoming a higher priority to me, why don't I quit my job? We've done the math, and technically we could probably get by without my income... but am I prepared for that? Can I make the sacrifices that would involve? Am I willing to be on a tight, no frills budget and occassianally live off of Top Raman Noodles? Ick. Staying at home sounds nice some days, but I love some of the perks work provides, even at just 12 days a month: adult conversation, mental stimulation and something interesting to talk about when I am around people. Plus, being on a super snug budget, I dont think I would get out of the house much, causing severe mental insanity. I like to get out of the house and I like to be able to play some. Does that make me a little selfish? Maybe.

I guess there are other options. I could change shifts. But any other shift would mean day care for McKenzie. Cris and I chose to bring her into the world, and, we feel we should be the ones raising her. Who knows what care she would get out there, even with the most trusted of sitters. Or, I could change jobs. That makes me cry a little. I really, truly like my job. And I make really good money for what I do. I've browsed the want ads, and the really good part time jobs pay half of what I am making now per hour. If I took one of those, would I feel like my time was being used well? Would I get a schedule that worked for us? Argh. I hate this.

Of course, we are still trying to get that job sharing program going. My office loves the idea and my GM whole heartedly supports the idea. Unfortunately its a change that would require corporate input. It's passed regional officers approval, its just been stuck in corporate HR. And its making me nervous... and I guess causing me to think about all of this mess. If it goes through my immediate stress will be releived. Going to church every third week isnt ideal, but, its a start and MUCH better than being inactive for 3 years. Anyway, I will continue to pray and think about work. Thank you for letting me vent a little, I already feel better! In the mean time, if you run across any part time desk jobs in Tooele County that pay $20 an hour with a gold plated schedule, forward them on to me! LOL!